I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
