I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
