i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
