fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
