I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
