Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
