evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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