She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
