ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
