so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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