I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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