I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
