On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
