Who did Billy Mays play for?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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