To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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