dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think your dad took our porno
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
