Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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