bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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