if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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