he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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