just come out here and I will go home with you...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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