And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
