I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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