i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
