Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
