JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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