Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
