Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm passing your future prison.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
