Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
