I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
