According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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