420 ftw
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
