We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
