I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
