I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
