"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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