I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize