evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think people are normalizing furries
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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