yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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