I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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