Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
