You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
