Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
this is an emotional support booty call
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
