All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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