she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
