I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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