Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize