he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize