I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
