I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
