I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
