u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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