We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
