Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We got so high we made milksteak
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
