Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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