Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
