No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
