why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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