I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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