he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
