bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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