sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
