dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
