It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
sarcasm needs its own font
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
